A Prayer of St. catherine of siena

In our lives and faith journeys, we often grapple with what to do with suffering. How do we reconcile our own suffering, others’ suffering, or the suffering of the wider world with a loving God? These questions are at the crux of much theological discussion and debate, developing into an entire school of thought called theodicy. I find it helpful, when grappling with theodicy, to look towards “the cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1) throughout the centuries, particularly those who lived during times of great trial and suffering, who provide thoughtful frameworks of hope and faith. This cloud of witnesses are our extended intentional community of faith. We are not alone in our wandering and wondering about God, and it is helpful to look to others who have walked these paths already to provide us the Wisdom of generations. One such “Doctor of the Church” to whom I’d like to introduce you this week is St. Catherine of Siena.

Catherine Benincasa, later canonized St. Catherine of Siena, was born in 1347, a year before the height of the Black Plague and famine in her hometown of Siena, in the Tuscany region of Italy. 30-50% of Siena’s population was decimated by this plague and famine, including several of Siena’s siblings who did not live past childhood. The survivors of these two cataclysmic events continued to suffer from the repercussions of a faltering economy, resulting from the steep decline in population. As a survivor, Catherine was well-acquainted with the suffering all around her. Likely influenced by the humanistic philosophies vibrantly spreading through the Tuscan region at the time, Catherine took on a hopeful perspective on suffering and the nature of God amidst suffering. This attitude is prevalent in much of Catherine’s writings during her short life. 

From a young age, Catherine was drawn to a life consecrated to God. She is said to have witnessed visions of God throughout her childhood, which solidified her desire to dedicate her life to God and to serving God’s people. In her late teens, Catherine took the vows of the Third Order of St. Dominic, dedicating her life to serving the poor and suffering in Siena. As part of her life’s work, Catherine began to write, credited with over 400 letters, her Dialogue, and her prayers throughout her life. Catherine’s writings were persuasive in social and church politics, caring for the poor and needy, and spiritual growth. Her commentary on suffering is particularly profound. “Strange,” she once said, “that so much suffering is caused because of the misunderstanding of God’s true nature. God’s heart is more gentle than the virgin’s first kiss upon the Christ. And God’s forgiveness to all, to any thought or act, is more certain than our own being.” 

Catherine’s core theodicy was that God is a loving, gentle God. Despite our suffering, God is present and actively working in our lives, providing sustenance and comfort even when we cannot feel it. Her writings are imbued with this sense of warmth and intimacy with the Divine that sustained her in her daily experiences with individuals deeply suffering. This week, I want to share with you one of my favorite prayers by St. Catherine of Sienna. I hope you will keep this prayer in a special place and return to it during those times when pain feels more present than God. Often, it is helpful to lean on our Spiritual Community, both those living and those who have passed on, who may have the words we need when we cannot find the words ourselves.

His Lips Upon the Veil
 ~St. Catherine of Siena~

He has never left you.
 
It is just
that your soul is so vast
that just like
 
the earth in its innocence,
it may think,
 
”I do not feel my lover’s warmth 
against my face right
now.”
 
But look, dear,
is not the sun reaching down its arms
and always holding a continent
in its light?
 
God cannot leave us,
It is just that our soul is so vast
 
we do not always feel His lips
upon the
veil.