loved in our mess

“Having loved His own who were in the world, He  loved them to the end.”
~John 13:1, NRSVUE

Since adopting Milton, my unplanned-for canine companion, my mornings have looked like this—outside on the patio, with the screen still missing from the hurricane that inspired my pup’s name, dirt and half-chewed plush toys littering my once-clean patio (because I gave up on enforcing the “plushies are inside toys” rule), much-needed coffee, a devotional, and a very happy dog hunting lizards somewhere out in the yard. 

As a full-time seminary student and a full-time church leader, sometimes just keeping myself and my dog alive are things I celebrate at the end of each day. But I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a huge part of me that constantly feels defeated when I go to bed exhausted with dishes still in the sink and Milton hair balls rolling across the tile floor like tumbleweeds. My house is a mess most of the time, and sometimes it makes me feel like a failure. 

Perhaps this is why this verse from John’s Gospel is one of my favorites—John describing his beloved Jesus’ posture towards His people up until His last act of love and service—washing His friends’ feet. 

We keep our feet pretty clean, but in Jesus’ time, that was not the case. The night Jesus was to be arrested, betrayed by one of His own, He knelt before his friends and washed the dirt and grime and animal dung and whatever else had ground into the wrinkles and cracks of their feet. I imagine it would have felt mortifying for the disciples to have Jesus so intimately connected to their mess…and for Him to then wash them clean. 

I would probably feel that same mortification if I woke up one morning and found Jesus on His hands and knees scrubbing the floors of my home or repairing the screen on my patio. I would probably respond like Simon Peter did when Jesus came to him to wash his feet “Jesus! This is my mess! You are above this. You can’t clean my mess. I will take care of it!” We don’t want anyone near our mess, let alone Jesus. We are afraid to ask for help. We are embarrassed about what people will think of our mess. We really do think sometimes we can hide our mess from God. But often, it is right in the midst of our mess where God meets us. 

Our God is not the God of somewhere out there, above and distant and ruling from afar. Our God is the God who put on flesh to walk intimately among us. Our God lived in our mess and died for our mess, all the while loving us in our mess, and loving us to the end. 

Whatever mess is in your life that feels insurmountable, know that God is already there in the midst of it. It is not something to be ashamed of; rather, it is an opportunity to humble ourselves before our Savior and accept the gift of grace and unfathomable love that inspires our God to meet us in our mess over and over again.